


Rebirth

by Aearyn



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 17:45:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15954377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aearyn/pseuds/Aearyn
Summary: This is just a collection of stuff I wrote about Scourge and my neutral Jedi Knight, Luthien. Not finished but in light of the recent *ahem* hints regarding Scourge's return, seemed a good time to post it :)





	Rebirth

**Author's Note:**

> I did kind of a weird thing with POV in the part where they meet again. I've tried to delineate actual time shifts in the story with the "***" symbol, and then parts where they're flipping back and forth with the "~~~" symbol instead. Hopefully this isn't too confusing :)

Lord Scourge stepped onto the battlefield on Balmorra without fear. Fear was not something he often indulged in. Besides that, he’d barely even gotten any scars over the years; the Force had protected him for centuries, and continued to do so. Not that it mattered – if he were to be killed today, would he even care? He considered this for a moment, and decided it wasn’t likely.

He wasn’t being maudlin, only honest. With the Emperor gone, it was no longer necessary for him to remain alive just in order to see Vitiate defeated.

Just as he’d foreseen, his Jedi had orchestrated the downfall of the most powerful and evil being in the galaxy.

But in so doing, she’d brought about her own demise as well.  An event that had resonated throughout his being.

Of course they’d shared a Force-bond; how could they not? They’d fought closely for years, protecting and augmenting one another in battle. She had learned much from him, even descending, as her Jedi Council would say, toward the Dark Side to some extent. But he’d also grown from his association with her, from watching her as she dealt with all the trials and missions they’d encountered. He would hardly call her realistic attitude toward the value of strength and power over one’s enemies a Dark Side trait.

He allowed himself a scant few moments to reflect on the moment he’d felt her life force snuffed out. He’d left her on Marr’s vessel, taking her ship, as she’d instructed; more like demanded. That was one of the few times he’d been afraid – afraid that she would die in the wreckage of Darth Marr’s ship, afraid he would never be permitted to speak the truth to her.

But his faith in her was not misplaced; she had survived, and several hours later…

Blessed relief. He had felt the power of Vitiate, an ever-present taint in the Force, wane, and snuff out.

He’d felt something he didn’t think he was capable of: joy. Not only was his arch-nemesis dead, not only was the Emperor who’d planned to destroy the entire galaxy finally defeated, but now his Jedi, his Luthien, could finally hear the truth. After the centuries he’d waited for her, and then the years he’d spent as her ally, her comrade-in-arms, now he could tell her that what he wanted for them was much more than just companionship.

But his elation, so unfamiliar to him, was short-lived.

Within a scant few minutes he’d felt her death.

To be precise, the removal of her spirit from the Force. Its sudden absence was almost more overwhelming to him than the disappearance of the Emperor. He’d slumped in the captain’s chair of her ship, his head in his hands, physically nauseous.

The thing he’d most feared, second only to the thought of Vitiate’s plans coming to fruition, had now occurred.

She was dead, and she would never hear him tell her he loved her.

Scourge brought his attention back to the present; he and several Jedi had been dispatched to repel Zakuulan forces before they could overtake the Balmorran Arms factory, a strategic location that could give enemy forces even more of an advantage.

Scourge was doubtful that the Empire or the Republic could hold out much longer against Zakuul’s far superior firepower. But given that it was Zakuul that had taken Luthien’s life, he had vowed to do his utmost to see them defeated, even if it was a lost cause.

He supposed that Imperial forces, who were also in place on Balmorra, were shocked when they saw him in the company of Republic troopers and Jedi. Scourge didn’t necessarily feel that his place was with the Republic, given that they’d refused Luthien a spot on the Jedi Council due to her “darkness” (which he still scoffed at), and that she hadn’t really felt at home with them either. But neither was his place with the Imperials, after everything that he’d done.

He would prefer to go on missions alone, striking at Zakuulan leaders head-to-head. But he had to admit that even he was not invincible, nor did he have the contacts to ferret out information enough to coordinate such a strike.

So he continued working reluctantly with the Jedi, who’d been only too happy to accept his aid after Luthien’s death. He’d decided this was how he would spend his remaining days; battling the forces that had taken his Jedi away from him.

Although he had little expectation of being felled during this war, he thought it possible that he would degenerate quickly. It had been almost a year now since the stasis cell had been destroyed. He had hoped to celebrate its demise with his Jedi, re-learning all the feelings she had given back to him by helping him get rid of the artifact. But almost immediately they’d received word that Darth Marr might have a lead on Vitiate, and Scourge had decided to wait, to remain focused on the Emperor until he was no longer a threat.

He had never regretted a decision more in his life.

His only comfort was that soon, his body would decay, and he could become one with the Force. Perhaps then, he would gain some measure of peace.

# ***

After three centuries, Scourge had finally forgotten the color of his first love’s eyes. Now all he could remember was the color of hers. Couldn’t forget it, actually. Nor the smell of her hair. He’d only been close enough to smell it a few times, but that was enough. It was burned into his memory.

Over the past five years he’d tried to dismiss these remembrances. He’d seen plenty of things that might dull such recollections, but they remained, stubbornly resilient. But he could admit it, now that she was gone – he never wanted to forget them. Her lithe form twirling, dodging, lunging at their foes. Her face fierce, brow lowered in concentration as she used her extensive Force-power to get them past some obstacle. Her soft skin, palms lightly marred with callouses from her lightsabers.

How he wished, now, that he’d let her touch him more often. She’d only ever done so casually, except once. Once, she’d tried to change his mind. She’d been drunk – as she had been more and more frequently, he’d noticed, but not understood – and she’d approached him, running those hands up his arms, pressing her soft but strong body against him. If she hadn’t been inebriated, she’d have observed immediately how hard he was breathing, how long it took him to finally set her aside. It had taken all his considerable determination to push her away when her lips were so close to his. It was twice as hard since this had occurred barely a day after the stasis cell was destroyed – now he could feel every brush of her skin against his, and every breath she took was torturous to him.

But he had done it; he had denied her. And the next day, she was gone. He wondered again how he could have left her – they’d been together for years; regardless of how he’d held back from her, they were still allies, still attuned to one another, still at each other’s side during every battle. Except that last one, the one he should have been there for above all others.

He shook his head at these recriminations. Although five years was a small percentage of time compared to the centuries he’d been alive, it was still enough time to learn some self-control.

Either way, tomorrow would likely – finally – be the death of him, and stars knew he welcomed the thought. The Emperor was gone, and so was she – hopefully soon he could dissolve into the Force along with them.

# ***

She was alive.

Scourge’s hands suddenly shook. Luckily they’d already cut through the Skytroopers in their path; he couldn’t support himself anymore, and sank to his knees.

After all these years, he could feel her presence again. The Force didn’t lie; he knew she was there, on this planet. How could he have thought she was dead? Her essence was weak but growing stronger by the second.

Over a few brief moments, thoughts flooded his head of finding her, telling her things he should have told her years ago, finally letting her put her arms around him, never letting her go. He clutched his chest, this flood of emotions not something he was used to, tunneling its way through his embittered, desolate heart, crushing the defenses he’d put in place there.

He vaguely heard the others shouting to him, thinking he was injured. He was, but they wouldn’t understand how. If she was alive, he could find her. He would find her. He gathered himself, began to stand up.

Almost crumbled again as an almost-forgotten but familiar weight settled lightly over his shoulders.

Vitiate.

# ***

“Lana, it’s been weeks, surely you know what’s happened to him—to them by now,” Luthien demanded, hoping Lana hadn’t noticed her slip of the tongue. If she did, she didn’t mention it.

“I’ve been looking, Jedi, but we have more pressing concerns, as you well know. We have to get repairs made to the ship before we can accomplish anything further,” Lana insisted as they got ready to disembark.

“I realize that, but at least give me an update?” She hoped she didn’t sound desperate.

This time she caught a glimpse of Lana’s small smile as they traversed the corridors of the Gravestone, and admonished herself to show more restraint in future. She and Lana were friends as well as allies, but that didn’t mean she should broadcast her feelings so clearly.

“Lord Scourge has been working with the Jedi, actually.”

“Really?” Luthien was shocked. She assumed that once she was frozen in carbonite, Scourge would cut ties with the Republic; perhaps, with the Emperor dead (as everyone thought he was) he would attempt to retake a position in the Empire, but that seemed unlikely.

But Luthien couldn’t help but acknowledge the relief she felt at Lana’s words – she didn’t care much who he was associating with, but she’d been concerned about his…health. She had no idea what the consequences would be of the destruction of the stasis cell that had kept him alive for so long. Would he continue to be, to all intents and purposes, immortal? Would he begin to age normally, as he had at first suspected? Or would he age precipitately, his body hurrying to catch up with the centuries he’d been alive?

She couldn’t be sure he was perfectly alright, of course, but if he was still fighting, then that was a good sign. If only Lana could find out something more – or better yet, if she could find him, and bring him back to her.

But Lana was right – they had more important things to worry about. They had to get the Gravestone up and running before they encountered the Eternal Fleet again, or they’d be in serious trouble.

# ***

Scourge slammed his fist against the bulkhead, the noise resounding through the ship and startling the crew.

They’d missed her again, by hours this time, and had arrived in time to find this place in ruins, and the Gravestone already in hyperspace, making it difficult to track them down. He would have to keep sending messages to Lana Beniko and Theron Shan, and hope that at some point they’d get through and be answered.

“Where to now, my lord?” asked the Imperial pilot he’d hired to fly him across the galaxy and back in search of his Jedi.

“Go ahead and dock here – I feel like destroying some Skytroopers,” Scourge replied darkly.

# ***

Luthien lay awake in her quarters in the Odessen base, which was still under construction but coming along nicely. Apparently being the “Commander” of these forces had its benefits, as her quarters had been the first finished, and the nicest.

Despite the luxury of having a comfortable, clean bed to sleep in after weeks aboard the musty Gravestone, Luthien was restless, and couldn’t sleep.

She hadn’t had an update about Scourge in weeks, nor the rest of her crew. She knew Lana was doing her best; they had to be careful sending messages so they didn’t alert Zakuul to their location, plus Scourge could be anywhere. All they knew was that at some point he’d broken off from the Jedi and had undertaken some risky missions, teaming up with Mandalorians and other warriors to undermine Zakuul’s forces.

Luthien wasn’t really concerned that he’d get himself killed – he hadn’t lived 300 years without a thick skin and stellar combat skills. But she just wanted—no, needed to see him. Maybe he didn’t have the same feelings for her that she did for him, maybe he never would. But that didn’t matter; they were partners, and she still felt exposed without him by her side.

 Lana was a powerful Force-user, and of course she’d saved her life – or rather, reinstated it, on Zakuul. Theron was an accomplished and skilled agent and had also helped her out of several tight spots. She considered both to be her friends as well as advisers, but…

They weren’t Lord Scourge. They weren’t her Wrath.

# ***

Scourge paced back and forth on board the Defender; he’d brought the Jedi’s old ship to this planet as Theron Shan had requested, and had waited to disembark, at Lana Beniko’s behest. She was plotting something, that much he knew, but all he wanted was to see Luthien.

He knew she was here; he could feel her. So why this delay?

Of course, it wasn’t as if he could show her any…affection. With Vitiate’s spirit still prowling around, he couldn’t afford to be anything less than vigilant. He couldn’t allow himself to be distracted from his purpose – their purpose.

But nevertheless, if he could just see her, look upon those pale green eyes again, that shining auburn hair…

Stop it, he admonished. You’ve spent hundreds of years alone, learned control that no other person in the galaxy can boast. Don’t throw it away on this woman, no matter who she is. Vitiate is the focus here.

If only he could accept that.

He heard the ship’s entry door hiss open. Her voice, muffled, “Lana?” – a pause – “Oh…alright, I’ll see you shortly then.”

Her step on the stairs. His heart pounded painfully, an old derelict shuddering reluctantly to life.

She ascended the steps, not seeing him where he stood in dim light by the holocom, not yet. She looked around, a bittersweet smile curving her lips, her eyes sad. He had to physically restrain himself from reaching out to her, alerting her to his presence.

She was so beautiful; he didn’t understand how others could bear to be around her. How did ordinary people without centuries of practice in self-control fail to bend a knee to her grace, her strength? Her hair was different now, more loosely held at the nape of her neck, tendrils escaping to frame her face. But those eyes; those eyes were the same pale, liquid green, with flecks of silver he couldn’t see now but could easily remember.

But there was something else there…something dark, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Had she fallen further to the dark side since her release from carbonite? This would be ironic considering how much he’d changed in the opposite direction since they’d met. But this was unlikely; her glow in the Force was the same as it had been…

~~~

She was happier to do this by herself, anyway…seeing the Defender was like saying hello to an old friend, and she didn’t need a witness.

She’d always thought this ship was clunky, its layout of questionable efficiency. And she still did – but so many things had happened here; it was HER ship, had been practically her home for years. As she slowly climbed the stairs, her hand on the railing, she smiled as she thought of her crew. To her, it hadn’t even been that long since she’d seen them – months, merely. Rusk and his combat effectiveness percentages…Kira, her Padawan, who she would have imagined as a commander of some Jedi forces by this time, except that Lana had found she’d broken with the Jedi Order…and her loyal, if occasionally disapproving, little droid, TeeSeven. Lana was still trying to work out where the rest of them were…with little success. Her smile fell as her thoughts returned to the one she’d thought would be easiest to find.

Scourge.

How do you just lose the former Emperor’s Wrath? Luthien knew good and well he was alive; she could feel him in the Force; actually more so now than ever. But that was likely because she was on this ship, where she had so many memories of him.

But then it struck her…

That wasn’t why.

~~~

She stopped, as if hearing something, but he’d made no sound.

Slowly, she turned towards him.

The Force flared around her. It felt to him like another three centuries passed as they looked at each other, neither breathing, her tumultuous feelings all but shouting at him, bombarding him, rendering the pain in his chest even more acute.

Finally he exhaled, and as if the tether holding her in place had snapped, she rushed toward him, and to his profound and simultaneous joy and dismay, launched herself into his arms, her own going around his neck.

Against all his better judgment, his rational mind screaming at him to back away, he wrapped his arms around her, allowing himself a few brief seconds of unutterable pleasure, clutching her warmth against him as a dying man would cling to his only chance of deliverance.

If he had known, that night years ago, that this was what it would feel like, to have her embrace him…if he’d had any idea of the sensations that would course through him…

~~~

He was here! Her Scourge! **Her** Wrath, and hers alone. He was alive and warm and solid just as she remembered, and her feelings for him washed over her, unchecked by any Jedi restrictions. She’d stopped adhering to those some time ago, but with him, she’d always tried, at least, to show restraint. She knew she didn’t always succeed, she knew it was often obvious to him that she loved him to the depths of her soul. But after all these months, wondering where he was, knowing it had been years to him – she couldn’t have stopped herself from embracing him if she tried.

Then his arms went around her, and she felt for a moment that perhaps her imprisonment on Zakuul, the carbonite poisoning, and everything else was worth it. If this was the result. She had waited years for this, and now she knew without a doubt that all the times he refused her had not been because he didn’t care. She could feel it, could almost see it, his emotions leaking out of his tightly restrained core like sunlight pouring through closed fingers.

He **did** love her. She was sure of it now.

~~~

He could feel her passions raging – her longing for him, and her happiness at being in his embrace, was overwhelming. It was, in fact, the only thing that could have made him let her go.

He couldn’t allow her to go on thinking anything would come of this. It wasn’t fair. In most circumstances Scourge was unconcerned with fairness. But where she was involved, he would cut off his own limb before he hurt her any more than he already had, even though she could never know that.

She would hate him for doing this; in fact, he might hate himself. But it had to be done. He reached up, disengaged her arms, and stepped back. If he was a little slow to drop her hands – surely she wouldn’t notice.

~~~

 _< <Ahh, my old friend Lord Scourge. What a lovely reunion.>>_ spoke the hated voice in her head, never allowing her a moment’s peace without trying to ruin it and assert his own twisted agenda. She should have known he would show up now to blacken this experience.

But it was no matter; Scourge had already intended to reassert his control over himself, push her away again. But she didn’t care about that – she **knew**. She knew now, and he couldn’t lie to her again, even if he didn’t realize it.

~~~

Her light dimmed instantly. Where the brightness of it had pained him before, now his soul burned at its absence. But he’d only done what was necessary. If she’d learned anything from him, she would use her anger, her disappointment, to fuel her in the fight against Zakuul.

Unfortunately, he’d learned a few things from her, too. Enough to understand how she felt, enough to feel so himself.

~~~

She heard Valkorion chuckle as Scourge misunderstood her dismay. There was one way to dismantle this tragedy of errors before it even began – only one.

She had to tell him.

The thought frightened her more than anything had in her life; there was a good chance that he would hate her, once he knew the truth. How could he not – the very entity he’d joined her to destroy, now lurking inside her mind, watching her every movement, offering his unwanted aid.

But on the other hand, he would find out soon enough on his own; he was more sensitive than anyone to Valkorion’s presence, and sooner rather than later he would put two and two together.

And at that point she would have lied to him. How much worse would he hate her, knowing she’d kept this monumental truth hidden? There was no doubt in her mind he would detest her then. So she had to take her chances.

“Scourge…there is something I must tell you.”

Immediately she felt Valkorion flare with disapproval. He started speaking to her, but she did her best to block him out, knowing he was trying to prevent her from doing the one thing that would set her relationship with Scourge back on the right track, and rob Valkorion of his attempts to dismantle it.

Scourge’s eyes narrowed. “Continue, Jedi.”

For just a moment, the sound of his voice distracted her – how she’d missed that rich, if slightly disdainful tone; that particular accent that was his alone. But she forced herself to focus.

“I’m guessing you’re aware that Valkorion, as Vitiate was calling himself, wasn’t killed five years ago as was reported?”

His brow lowered further. “Indeed, even I thought him destroyed for quite some time. Until I went to Zakuul several months ago and felt his presence there.”

Her eyes widened. “You were on Zakuul? When? But, why—never mind, you can explain to me later,” she interrupted herself, not wanting to get off track and allow something to derail her. He raised an eyebrow.

“He’s…” she took a deep breath, and once again Valkorion urged her to give up her plan to tell Scourge the truth. But she couldn’t stop now. “Scourge, he’s here. In my head.”

~~~

He stared at her for a moment, unsure what to make of this. “If this is a jest, Jedi…”

She looked down, shaking her head mutely.

“I am assuming you did not invite this? That you do not condone it?” If she had somehow accepted Vitiate into her mind, in exchange for some promise of power…the thought turned his stomach.

Her eyes flew to his. “I would never, NEVER allow him near me, if I had a choice,” she whispered vehemently. And he could sense her sincerity. “He somehow managed to transfer his energy into me when I struck him down on Zakuul,” she further explained.

He considered this. It was well within Vitiate’s power to transfer his Force spirit to another being; after all the souls he’d consumed over the centuries he was capable of nearly anything. Lesser mortals would probably have been consumed in the process, but not his Jedi; her will was much too strong to allow Vitiate to overtake her. He felt a hint of pride shoulder out his disgust for a moment, but he could not dwell on that now.

“Why has nothing been done to remove him?” he demanded.

She sighed heavily. “We’ve tried everything, but all our efforts have been in vain so far. But I swear I will never stop trying. At some point….there must be a way.” She said this last almost to herself, and he could tell she carefully held back the full force of the loathing she felt. She had been Vitiate’s puppet once, for quite some time, and he was sure that being somewhat under his control again, even in a different sense, was the cruelest form of punishment for her.

“Is he…does he speak to you? Or does he just lurk in the recesses of your mind?” Scourge inquired, wanting to understand the exact details of what they were up against.

“He likes to proffer his opinion at inopportune moments, and he’s offered to “help” me on more than one occasion. At which points I’ve told him to kriff off,” she added bitterly. “But as you can imagine, he doesn’t take no for an answer.”

“Indeed,” Scourge responded shortly, his mind working furiously. Should he even bring it up to her? If it didn’t work, she might be worse off than before – if it failed, Vitiate might take his anger out on her somehow, and Scourge had no idea what sort of power he had over her. He was confident she wouldn’t be killed, since doing so would likely end Valkorion’s own life. And somehow incapacitating her wouldn’t serve his aims either – Scourge did not doubt that his old nemesis had a plan for this Jedi. What it was, he couldn’t guess, but if they didn’t rid her of his spirit somehow, it would likely not end well for her.

If they’d tried everything without success, this might be the only way they could discuss solutions without alerting Valkorion and incurring his ire.

“Give me your hands.”

~~~

Luthien stared at him, her head tilted slightly to the side, considering. Obviously he didn’t mean anything by it – as much as she wished he did. She extended her hands obediently, and he took them in his much larger ones, warmth radiating through the gloves he always wore. She tried and, she thought, succeeded in keeping her feelings in check, and not displaying them on her face or through their Force-bond.

Lord Scourge closed his eyes, and Luthien took a moment to drink in the details of his face.

Nothing had changed; every detail was still the same. She hadn’t forgotten anything – after all, she’d dreamed about him at least once a week ever since she’d been thawed.

She’d been so angry – at him, at herself – and so embarrassed, after that last night on her ship. She remembered what she’d done: thrown herself at him, with no regard for dignity or self-respect. Somehow she’d thought, in her drunken state, that something would change after the destruction of the stasis cell – that he’d cease rebuffing her, and they could finally show one another how they really felt.  

But she’d been wrong, of course; he would never let his guard down, or so she concluded after that incident. She was ashamed to admit that the next day when she’d gone to meet Darth Marr, she’d deliberately left Scourge on her ship, feeling too awkward to be in his presence. If she’d taken him…maybe things would have gone differently.

But no; if he’d been with her, he likely would have died on Marr’s ship. Or if not, he certainly would have been killed at the same time as Marr; there was no way he would have stood before Valkorion without attempting to put him down, knowing it was his nemesis that resided behind the face of the Zakuulan Emperor.

Her attention snapped back to the present as she felt Scourge’s Force-signature creep into her mind, and out of reflex she immediately threw up her own shield to prevent it.

Scourge gave a small growl of disapproval. “Jedi I am trying to.... Let me in.”

Somehow, the way he said these words affected her more than it should – her stomach clenched, but she let her shields fall away, and immediately felt his presence pushing more insistently. It was disconcerting; although the sensation was completely different, she now had two separate minds inside her head, in addition to her own. As much as she cared about Scourge, she wasn’t sure she approved of this.

 _< <Are you sure you want to allow him to do this, Outlander?>>_ Valkorion’s tone was snide, and Luthien correctly guessed what he was about to say to dissuade her from letting Scourge invade her head. _< <I’m sure he’ll be quite interested to see all the things you’ve thought of him over the yea-- >>_

Suddenly his voice was cut off mid-sentence. Luthien gasped as she felt his presence dissipate; her eyes flew open and she stared in surprise at Scourge.

He was encased in a dark purple Force-glow, and this glow spread from his hands, across hers, to what she could see of her chest. What sort of Sith trick was this?

Scourge’s eyes were now open again, and of course he plainly saw her confusion.

“As you can imagine, during the time that I was plotting against the Emperor, I had to be careful not to let him catch onto any of my plans.”

Luthien nodded mutely.

“I developed a way to guard my mind from him, and I hoped that I could use the same process to conceal yours from him as well. From your expression I assume I was successful?”

“He was speaking to me, and your shield just…cut him off.” Luthien laughed out loud; for a brief moment she was consumed with vindictive glee at being able to interrupt the hated resident of her mind, cut off his dreadful suggestions and innuendos.

Suddenly her laughter died in her throat.

Scourge’s hand had dropped hers, and was against her cheek.

“I have missed your laughter. Luthien.”

Her eyes grew wide, but before she could respond to this shocking admission, he’d dropped his hand, and a scowl crossed his face.

“I apologize. We must focus on the problem at hand – how to remove Valkorion from your mind and destroy him, once and for all.”

Luthien couldn’t speak for a few seconds – her amazement at what had just happened was clouding her thought processes and jumbling her faculties.

Abruptly a horrible thought occurred to her. “Wait…can you…hear my thoughts? When you do this?” She didn’t know if she would be very successful at hiding things from him when he was in her head this way, considering in the past she’d only been moderately successful doing so when he was just nearby.

“Only if you clearly think the words; otherwise I can only sense vague emotions.”

She sighed with relief. Hopefully she could refrain from actually speaking sweet nothings to him in her head. Maybe.

But Scourge was right. No matter what was between them – what she knew, now, and what he’d just confirmed – nothing could happen until she was free of this menace.

And as much as she didn’t want for the solution to involve her death – she had to ask.

“Scourge…tell me honestly, if I were to die, do you think it would end him?”

Scourge’s expression grew, if possible, even darker. “It is doubtful; there is always the possibility that he would merely transfer into someone else – and that person might not be as strong as you are.” His tone as he said this made her think that perhaps his main concern wasn’t Valkorion possessing another person. “It is not a risk I am willing to take,” he continued. “I could not allow you to throw away your life on the chance that it would end his – to cause your destruction in such a way would be his greatest trick yet.”

She stared at him in silence for a moment, and narrowly kept herself from thinking about any one of the hundred comments that might have popped into her head otherwise. But she filed this away for future contemplation – along with all the other brief moments that had occurred over the past half hour, moments that were now etched in her memory.

“I cannot maintain full occultation from Valkorion’s awareness for long,” Scourge warned. “I will have to let it drop soon. But later we can try again, when we can speak with the others and get their input.”

“Is it something you can teach me? Or could I at least strengthen the shield, or feed you power while you maintain it?” She didn’t like the thought of having him expend all his energy just to provide her a moment’s respite from Valkorion, even if they used it as a time to discuss a plan to oust him.

Scourge contemplated this for a moment. “I have never had occasion to use this skill on or for anyone else, so I am unsure.”

“Perhaps we should…experiment? Later?” Luthien resolutely refrained from dwelling on how she relished the thought of spending as much time as necessary in close contact with her Wrath, learning this ability.

His eyes narrowed. Had he read her thoughts? It didn’t really matter; he was well aware of her feelings. But she would have to be careful not to prove too distracting if and when he did decide to teach her this shielding method; otherwise he wouldn’t allow the lessons to continue.

“Perhaps,” he finally replied. She would be satisfied with that, for now.

 “Will he know what’s happened? That we’ve blocked him out?” She asked Scourge, suddenly a little anxious about what Valkorion would say when the shield dissipated – if he was aware, she would never hear the end of it, and he might even try to interfere with her mind even more than usual in retaliation.

“You must think of mundane matters – do not allow your thoughts to stray to the shield, or anything that will alert him to what we’ve discussed,” Scourge instructed. “Other than that, I am unsure what you should do; he was not actually inside my mind when I used this technique before. You may need to think of some excuse as to why his perception of you was interrupted.”

Luthien shivered – it was bad enough to have the former Emperor residing inside her head at all times, but to be reminded so bluntly of his constant observation…the thought was even more unnerving than usual, now that Scourge was back in her life.

But having him back also meant she was one step closer to defeating Valkorion for good, and for that she could endure much.

She cast about for a moment for the best thing to settle her mind upon to distract Valkorion and deflect any suspicion, and it only took a second for her to think of an absolutely perfect solution; one that, Force willing, could be used repeatedly.

“Scourge…you can drop the shield, but…I need you to play along.”

“What are you planning, Jedi? I can sense your…unease.” He narrowed his eyes, suspicions instantly raised.

She hated having to explain it to him, but there was no help for it – if he didn’t properly participate, her ruse would be busted. Perhaps another thing they could practice was communicating without speaking when in this state – it might be easier for her to tell him things she’d rather not say out loud. But she didn’t think she could do anything like that just yet. “There’s one thing that would simultaneously distract Valkorion and also provide a plausible excuse for why my psyche has been disrupted…”

He merely stared at her. He wasn’t making this any easier.

 “You have to kiss me.” Luthien knew her face was red, and her heartbeat had increased, giving away her feelings about this request. But there was no help for it – it was a good idea.

He sighed heavily. “Jedi, I hardly think—“

“You don’t have to mean it, Scourge, just…” she looked down, her chin suddenly trembling. She might know now that he cared about her, and that was a huge comfort, but it was still possible that he never intended to follow through with those feelings, no matter what happened. She couldn’t stop it: all the years that she’d lain awake at night, vacillating between berating herself for her feelings and desperately wishing that he would return them, came flooding back. All the drinking she’d done to drown out her despair, her feeble attempts to fill the hole in her heart.

She sucked in a breath as his hand went to her chin, lifting it until she had to look at him, her eyes - to her shame - bright with unshed tears. And to double her disgrace, surely he’d picked up on those thoughts, or at least her feelings. More than anything, she didn’t want him to despise her weakness.

But the look on Scourge’s face confused her, and she was totally unprepared for his words.

“What if I do mean it…” he murmured as he closed the distance between them.

His lips were warm and luscious, just as she’d imagined. But she could never have envisioned her feelings at this moment. Perhaps the kiss wasn’t real, maybe Scourge was playing along all too well, but she didn’t care; she had waited too long for this. Her heart thundered in her chest, and she desperately tried to check the desire that rushed through her, knowing he could sense it. But it was no use; it was as if her body no longer responded to her commands, and all her Jedi training had been for naught.

Her right arm snaked around his huge frame, underneath his robes, her other going around his neck. She received little encouragement, Scourge seeming content to press his mouth lightly against hers, but even so, she stood on her tiptoes to better reach him, stepped even closer, tilted her head, and parted her lips slightly. On the one hand, obviously she wanted to spur him to further action. But it was also completely impossible for her to restrain herself.

Then she felt Scourge’s hand on the small of her back, exerting inexorable pressure, drawing her even closer; the hard planes of his armor dug into her uncomfortably, but she couldn’t be bothered with such details. She sighed against his lips, and this appeared to break down what was left of his defenses; he crushed her to him, his tongue snaking into her mouth, a tortured groan escaping him as he physically lifted her off the ground.

She had no idea how long they remained entwined, hungrily feeding off one another, but eventually they had to break away, if only to breathe.

Then she realized…

“Scourge…” she whispered against his mouth, her forehead resting against his. “The shield…”

He dropped it immediately, and the flood of Valkorion’s essence reasserting itself in her mind would have been like a bucket of cold water, if she’d been less overwhelmed with emotion in the first place.

Scourge quickly released her, and she almost stumbled as her feet found the ground again.

Valkorion’s disgust was nearly palpable.

 _< <I thought Jedi were better at controlling their baser instincts>>_ His voice dripped with disdain.

“Well perhaps you should make yourself scarce and stop watching everything I do, you disgusting nerf-herder,” she spat, wanting to alert Scourge to the fact that their plan had succeeded, for the moment.

“I…apologize for that lapse, Jedi--” Scourge appeared genuinely at a loss, and she almost let a smile slip, but caught herself.

“Listen, let’s just get back to the base,” she cut him off, not wanting to ‘fake-discuss’ what had just happened. She turned on her heel (shaky though her knees might be) and hastened to leave the ship.

~~~

Scourge was more disappointed in himself than he had ever been; but even his shame at his failure to maintain self-control could not diminish the memory of the passion he’d felt, and the sensations that had surged through him when he’d kissed her.

Certainly, he had felt attracted to her more and more over the years, and she stirred emotions in him that he’d thought long dead, even before they’d destroyed the stasis cell. But their kiss had awakened in him a rush of lust so strong it had almost put him off balance.

When was the last time he’d felt lust? He must have been very young. And he doubted those feelings were really in any way comparable to these.

Over 300 years of celibacy had naturally ill-prepared him for such a surge of physical need. His desire only magnified the feelings he had for Luthien; finally having her in his arms had far exceeded any imaginings he’d ever allowed himself where she was concerned. The sensation of her soft, pliant body beneath his hand; her warm, supple lips hungrily devouring his, those strong hands that he knew were capable of such magnificent feats, softly wound around his neck. When he’d told her, once, that he would give anything to be able to feel again…it almost wasn’t an exaggeration. The only thing stopping him from confessing everything to her was his goal of destroying Vitiate once and for all; he feared if he allowed himself to drown in her, he would never surface, and Vitiate would seize on his weakness, and indeed hers, as a means to achieve his own ends.

And yet, even while he was berating himself for letting the kiss go on as long as it had, he was looking forward to the next one.

For she was right – it seemed an effective way of diverting Vitiate’s attention. He only hoped this turn of events didn’t cause him to lose sight of his ultimate aims, even as he was working to achieve them.

# ***

Luthien maintained a careful distance from Scourge as they returned to the base from her ship’s landing pad. She was careful that her thoughts remained on him though, and on the kiss; which really wasn’t much of a stretch. She still wasn’t breathing properly; she’d definitely have to practice some extra meditation later to center herself again.

It was late evening and Odessen’s birds were trilling in the trees above and around the base; Luthien didn’t often get far enough away from the base to appreciate this but at the moment she was feeling exceptionally benevolent, and for a second she closed her eyes and smiled. Right now she could identify with their happiness. All was not right with the galaxy, but Scourge had kissed her, and that was enough to make her heart sing in concert with the birds.

 _< <I never would have pegged you as being so sentimental, Outlander,>>_ Valkorion chimed in, his discordant note jarring the inner music she’d been enjoying.

“For someone who’s always offering to help me, you certainly don’t seem vested in my happiness, Valkorion,” she muttered acidly. Scourge probably heard her but at least he would know what was making her grumpy.

_< <You really need to work on your priorities, Jedi. Love was never my main concern.>>_

“Yes, and now you’re a Force-ghost, so it looks like your priorities haven’t served you quite as well as you’d hoped.”

She felt Valkorion recede, as he often did when he couldn’t sway her to his opinion, or when he’d lost an argument between them. Thank the Force; the less she had to deal with his presence, the better, as far as she was concerned.

She turned her attention back to the birds, but their song was now being obscured by the hustle and bustle of the Alliance base. Sighing, she promised herself she’d go for a walk tomorrow, perhaps meditate outside; she normally had no time for this, but somehow she felt a little more self-indulgent than usual.

She showed Scourge the important locations of the base. First she waved a hand at the military hangar through which they’d entered, then pointed out the large hangar entryway at the massive shadow of the Gravestone, where it was docked up the hill from her own ship.

“Impressive, if…unwieldy,” he replied.

She stifled a laugh – she’d like to hear Koth defend his precious monstrosity if Scourge happened to say anything disparaging about it in his presence.

Then she took him down the hall to the War Room. She wanted to pounce on Lana immediately, and possibly Theron as well, since they’d kept Scourge’s presence a secret from her. But she’d have to do that later – now it was time for introductions, and it was likely bound to be an awkward experience.

Lana had gathered them all around the tactics holotable.

“Lana and Theron, of course you are already acquainted with my…with Lord Scourge,” she quickly recovered her slip; she’d been about to call him “My Wrath”. She raised her eyebrow at Lana, daring her to say anything – and promising an earful later when they were alone. Lana merely pursed her lips and nodded at Scourge.

“Lord Scourge was my companion for several years before…I was frozen in carbonite,” she further explained to the group. Theron and Lana knew Scourge from when they’d worked to defeat Revan some years ago, but Koth and Senya probably didn’t know much about her former companions.

“I take it Lord Scourge is a Sith?” Senya asked, seeming more curious than anything.

“Indeed,” Scourge replied before Luthien could respond. “I was the Emperor’s Wrath for almost three hundred years; the Emperor being the man you knew as Valkorion.”

Senya and Koth’s eyes both resembled saucers.

“Three hundred years? How is that possible?” Koth sounded more skeptical.

“An ancient Sith artifact froze every atom in my body in a punctuated equilibrium, giving me the energy to move, but not to feel.” ~~~~

Luthien closed her eyes briefly; this was a painful subject for Scourge, and she clearly recalled the day he’d asked her for her help in destroying it. Which naturally she’d immediately agreed to.

“The device was destroyed just before my encounter with your Emperor,” Luthien clarified to Koth and Senya.

Koth’s expression went quickly from astonishment to incredulity, and his eyes narrowed. “Surely you don’t expect me to believe any of that, I mean—“

“I wouldn’t accuse Lord Scourge of lying, if I were you, Koth,” Lana interrupted him quietly. “He’s not as…tolerant of a Sith as I am.”

This time Luthien had to turn her head to hide the smile she couldn’t prevent. Lana was laying it on thick, but she couldn’t say she objected; she actually had no problem with Scourge having a fearsome reputation on the base.

Scourge merely looked disdainfully at Koth, and the smaller man shut his mouth, his expression still mulish. Luthien would have to ask Lana to keep an eye on him, she didn’t want him stirring up trouble for Scourge, especially when she’d just gotten him back. Not that he would have an ounce of concern over anyone’s opinion of him, but…nevertheless, she didn’t want him harassed.

She glanced at Senya to see how she was taking this whole interchange, and was unsurprised to see a glint of humor in her eyes as she silently observed the conversation. From the little she’d gotten to know the other woman, she suspected she had a mischievous streak. In any case, she seemed to have no objection to Scourge, so that was helpful.

“Lord Scourge may be of assistance with Valkorion,” Luthien continued, ignoring Koth’s dark glances. “He has particular insight, having been his right hand for so many years. You all should speak with him tomorrow, without me, to see if he has anything to offer on that score. For now, I’d like to show him the rest of the base and his quarters.” She looked questioningly at Lana, who informed her that a room was ready for him in the main residential wing of the base…not far from her own quarters and those of her closest advisers.

Very briefly Luthien felt heat flame in her cheeks, but she ruthlessly quashed it – there was absolutely no reason for the location of Scourge’s quarters to bring her any embarrassment; after all, he would be one of, if not the most trusted adviser out of all of them, so it only made sense for him to be housed in the same area.

Turning on her heel, she led Scourge out of the War Room.

She spent the next hour familiarizing him with the layout of the base, pointing out the Cantina, the Force Enclave, the Research Laboratory, and Underworld Logistics. Luckily Dr. Oggurobb was not in the lab at this hour – she didn’t feel like deflecting his interest in Scourge, which she didn’t doubt would be considerable. The Hutt would likely suggest that he be allowed to conduct experiments on him, and Luthien could only imagine what choice words Scourge might have in response to such impertinence.

But Dr. Oggurobb was important to the Alliance, and she didn’t want him getting too offended. Perhaps Lana or Theron could have a word with him, ask him to refrain from any prying questions, before he and Scourge inevitably ran into one another.

Hylo Visz was normally at her peak late at night, and as Luthien suspected, she found the Mirialan hard at work dispatching what few forces they had on missions Luthien would rather not know too much about.

When Hylo turned and saw the two of them approaching, she gave Scourge a once-over and emitted an appreciative noise, glancing at Luthien with approval. Luthien bit her lip – she didn’t think that her relationship (or rather, desired relationship) with Scourge was obvious, but Hylo was always one to notice a…fine specimen on the base.

Scourge merely raised an eyebrow as Luthien introduced them.

“Strong, silent type, eh? I like it!” Hylo joked as she typed some information into a datapad and then handed it to one of her agents.

Seeing that she was busy, Luthien took her leave, and finally led Scourge to the residential wing, which was sprawled on the third level. Her and her advisers’ quarters were situated towards the front of the structure, and had windows that looked out on the natural beauty of Odessen. They weren’t huge, but were definitely larger than the rest of the residential units, and each had its own refresher and work area.

She indicated where everyone else’s doors were, then pointed to his, a few doors down from her own.

As she turned to leave, bidding him goodnight, she was stopped by his hand on her wrist.

She glanced back at him in surprise, and even as she registered the dark purple Force-glow emanating from him, she felt him prod her mind slightly, and she immediately allowed him access. If he had something to say to her that he wanted to hide from Valkorion, she certainly wanted to hear him out.

“Jedi,” he almost whispered.

She allowed herself to hope, for a moment, that this interlude was personal – that he might say something she desperately wanted to hear.

“Tomorrow morning, I will go to the War Room and speak to the rest of your advisers about Valkorion, and I will explain to them about this…technique,” he continued quietly. Her hopes wilted, but she nodded; she had to remember that the Alliance, and eventually ridding herself of Valkorion, took precedence over her desires, no matter how forceful they were. She was weak and stupid, she admonished herself, if she allowed herself to be too distracted by them.

She had forgotten, for a crucial few seconds, that Scourge was inside her head. His hand tightened on her wrist, and she felt a flutter of panic as she realized that she had clearly broadcast her thoughts to him. Heat suffused her face, and she didn’t know where to look; anywhere but at him. She squeezed her eyes shut, as if she could remove herself from this moment of intense embarrassment by doing so.

But she felt him lean down towards her, and the volume of his voice dropped even further.

“You have never been weak, nor stupid, Luthien,” he breathed against her hair. “But it is true we must both try to remain focused on the issue at hand.”

Her heart raced wildly; his close proximity meant she could feel his heat, his presence like a beacon to her even with her eyes shut. She swallowed, desperately trying to keep her thoughts in check, knowing he was privy to each and every one.

“Goodnight, Jedi,” he whispered before brushing his lips softly against hers, and at the same time she felt his shield drop, and his grip slid from her wrist to her hand, which he then began to drop.

To her profound shame, she gave a little whimper as he pulled away. He sighed heavily, and his grip tightened on her hand; he paused for a moment, but then he did drop her hand, and continued into his chambers, shutting the door.

Valkorion remained silent, for which she was eternally grateful. She could at least pretend she was alone with her thoughts; she suspected that tonight they’d be more like the fantasies she used to indulge in.

For only the second time since she’d met Scourge, and the first time since she’d been frozen in carbonite, she allowed herself to wonder if it really was a fantasy, or if there was some slight chance her desires might become reality.

# ***

As soon as the door was closed, Scourge put a hand to his head. Again, his feelings had almost overwhelmed him. Perhaps it had been a bad idea to destroy the stasis cell – he seemed unable to control himself any longer when his Jedi was in proximity.

But he honestly could not be sure if he would react much differently were the artifact still in place. Not after five years without her. Even if he couldn’t feel her touch, he would still love her, and he might as well admit it to himself.

But the feeling of her skin, the light in her eyes – those things enhanced his adoration for her by a thousand fold. He hoped they could find a way to oust Valkorion quickly; he didn’t know how much restraint was left in him.

Perhaps, he thought…perhaps he could relieve some of this tension. But he hadn’t done such a thing for centuries; he couldn’t possibly…could he?

But why not? Despite the fact that he’d become able to feel over five years ago, he’d had zero desire for anyone; his thoughts, and any feelings he’d begun to dust off, were fully occupied with his lost Jedi.

Now he was with her again, but they still could not consummate anything.

Of course, he knew she loved him. He was undeserving of her devotion, but he was well aware he had it, and had been for months before she’d disappeared. He would never understand how she, a being of light and justice, kindness and strength, could love him, a creature of darkness, power, and ruthlessness. But he could admit that she had brought light to his darkest corners, illuminated his soul.

And now that he’d touched her…but no, he amended, he hadn’t really. He’d yet to have his bare hand on her skin. The thought sent another rush of desire through him, and he stormed further into the room, removing his gear and dropping it into a chair haphazardly in his frustration. He’d heard of people taking cold showers in situations where their hormones were overwhelming them; perhaps that was what his feelings called for.

He turned on the water and immediately stepped underneath it, hoping to shock some sense into himself.

But the water wasn’t cold, per se, merely lukewarm. It ran over his muscular body in sheets; even now, after years of having his feelings restored, he still enjoyed the sensation of water on his skin more than he should…

It wasn’t distracting him from his thoughts in the slightest; he could think of nothing besides his Jedi.

Specifically, he recalled sparring with her. They’d sparred many times, and she normally wore breathable, form-fitting clothes for sparring…how could he have been so close to her then without his resolve breaking…heat rising from her body, sweat dampening her thin shirt, clearly showing the outline of her—

Suddenly he realized what he was doing, and quickly withdrew his hand from his length in disgust, clenching it into a fist. But then he wondered why he was so against giving himself this release – surely this was what normal people did, when their sexual desires outstripped the possibility of sating them?

Slowly, his hand drifted downward again.

What if he did give in to his desire for her? She would welcome it, that much he knew.

He sighed as he wrapped his hand around his shaft, slick with the water that poured over him.

He could go to her room right now, where she was likely getting undressed for the night; her naked body would be glowing warmly in the dim light…

His hand began to move up and down, and his breathing quickened along with his strokes.

He could easily imagine her noises of pleasure if he were to kiss her, running his hands over her bare skin, pushing her down on the bed…

He put his left hand against the wall to balance himself as his other hand tightened, continuing its up and down motion.

He would spread her legs, slip his fingers inside her warmth, then bend down to sample her sweet flesh, and she would put her hands on his head and cry out his name as she came against his mouth—

He let out a tortured groan as his body tensed, excruciating ecstasy flowing through him as he came, hard, against the shower wall, his body racked with shudders for what felt like minutes on end.

He quickly sank to the floor, water rinsing him and the walls clean, and rested his arms on his knees.

If he hadn’t been so empty inside for the past five years due to assuming his Jedi was dead, he thought, he could have been enjoying feelings like that the entire time.

When he thought about how much more pleasure would be in store for him when he was actually able to make love to Luthien…the idea of penetrating her, of being inside her, her legs wrapped tightly around him, her arms holding him lovingly, her back arched—

No – he had to stop, he had to get control of himself. It was one thing to sate one’s needs, but another to get so carried away with thinking about someone that you couldn’t properly function.

It only took one thought of Vitiate to cool his ardor. The former Emperor was stuck in her head, and there was no way Scourge could be intimate with her without Vitiate knowing, which rendered it an impossibility.

That was definitely enough to bring him back to reality; he stood and finished washing quickly. He doubted he’d be getting much sleep this night, but he supposed that was his reward for allowing himself to get out of hand.

# ***

Luthien, three doors away, was in a similar state, but without, she felt, any recourse to lessen it.

She didn’t have any problem thinking about Scourge-related intimacies; far from it. She enjoyed the idea of inconveniencing Valkorion, or better yet, disgusting him.

But she wasn’t about to take matters into her own hands, so to speak; Valkorion had been disturbingly present as of late, and the thought of giving him any sort of show turned her stomach.

She considered thinking through one of her old fantasies of Scourge – just to irritate Valkorion, of course – where he overpowered her during a sparring session and she…but no, that would just make her even more ragingly aroused, with no outlet.

She worked hard to turn her thoughts in a less explicit direction, but she couldn’t get them off of Scourge altogether.

As she lay in bed for at least an hour, staring into her dimly lit room, she concentrated on that first embrace she’d had with Scourge, when she’d found him on her ship. His arms enfolding her, his size and stature dwarfing her even though she stood taller than most of her allies. His head resting against hers, and emotions she had never felt from him before pouring forth to wash over her, reinforcing her feelings for him.

She had no problem fixing her thoughts on this, and imagining future similar embraces; she finally fell asleep pretending she was in his arms.


End file.
